Peso came into my life after the loss of my father I was in my early twenties when my father passed. I had lost a chihuahua who suddenly passed away at 2 years old who I think was an angel sent to my family to help grieve my father.
I had this urge to look up dogs on Kijiji and there was his beautiful face and I knew in my heart he was my soulmate. He cried when we brought him home for 4 months straight.
my mother and I were debating to go stay at a hotel because we weren’t getting any sleep and we didn’t think it would stop.
I wanted to have him experience everything he possibly could.
He loved long car rides and his own car seat. He went to Niagara Falls and on hikes,cottages and so many adventures. My health started to decline and I noticed that he would take on my illnesses.
I had herniated some discs and he also herniated a disc in his neck.
I ended up having some stomach issues he got the same.
I never really had any friends and my family was very torn he was my one consistency.
After having brain surgery he stayed by my side and just his presence made me feel safe.
I spent 15 years knowing that if I cried or
screamed it would physically make him sick and throw up.
I started realizing I needed to get stronger and deal with the pain internally.
15 years I tried to hide my pain from him the best I could. I suffer from chronic illness and there were days where it was extremely hard for me to get out of bed. He was my reason to keep moving to keep going for walks. He was my toddler and his every need came before mine.
He ate first he had ice water he had every kind of bed in every room and anything he ever wanted.
We would go on walks and I would tell him all of my secrets all of my traumas and of course sing sing sing to him..My secrets were safe with him.
When I looked into his eyes it made my body calm it made my soul at ease.
Just knowing that he was there for me made my life worth living.
He was extremely strong short legs a heart that would be Eternal if it could have and a big broad chest shoulders and wide stance. He was our little snow plow!
He got very jealous if I brought in other animals into the home and he tolerated some birds, frogs, rats for a short time but his biggest fan was his sister Sofia Vergara.
She is a lionhead 2 oz rabbit. He truly was her favorite person and would run up to him happy to see him and he just wanted to make sure he was seen by me and gave her some side eye. He loved her but got extremely jealous if I spent too much time doting over her.
As soon as we went outside though and she was on a leash he was outside guarding her with his life and was ready and willing to fight any size dog to protect his sister.
He was Goofy and timid and needed some self-assurance from time to time. He would go to daycare in his younger years in a lady’s home who only accepted large dogs. Peso thought he was a large dog in body and in spirit and of course appetite!
He would be shy at first getting dropped off scared and unsure but never show it and by the next day he was hearding his pack like sheep.
He even would walk on top of them as they slept like this was his kingdom and we were just here to serve.
He got attacked when he was a puppy and it caused damage to where he didn’t know how to properly get introduced to dogs and he never really liked smelling bums. He was very bum shy ,who could blame him!
He was very cautious around dogs and would always bark when seeing them his bark was bigger than his bite and his lunging was just trying to make himself look and sound much more threatening. The minute the dog took the bait and started to bark back Peso would run into Mommy’s arms.
He loved dressing up at Halloween Christmas and we always had a birthday party theme. He was never far from me and my mother’s side it was the three of us against the world.
No matter what he was ready for an adventure and the minute he saw you were getting ready to leave he was up and at that door with an excitement to take on Whatever May Come.
He wagged his tail with such Vigor his whole body jiggled and wiggled side to side.
After a bath or even just a cuddle session with blankets if you rubbed his head he would actually purr.
He knew exactly what you needed whether it was a paw or to lick away your tears even just to sit with you silently looking up at you with those big brown eyes.
His Expressions were endless he even got used to when we go to the drive-thru he would hear me order tea and he would start the eyes darting back and forth where he knew we kept his bowl and the tea in my hand. He was asking for his share.
He loved chewing on those bull penis sticks and his food was often varied. He would get bored extremely easily and he would mostly want what you had and end up sharing on our plates.
I started to be able to hear him in my head he had this little voice and I almost knew instinctively, psychically what he needed.
He started getting kidney issues and they diagnosed him with cushings. I told peso to his face you don’t have cushings and to get it out of your head and body. I didn’t give him the medication because I truly felt in my heart he did not have it.
It turned out he didn’t. He did however have some heart issues and of course kidney disease.
I made peso a promise when he was a puppy I told him that I will take the choice for him I will never let him suffer.
I will never keep him around for my selfish desires and that I will never let him be in pain.
I also did not want him to lose his ability to enjoy the things he loved like his walks. He loved sitting and looking outside and he always wanted to know what was going on. h
He was a bit of a snoop.
He had this ability to know when you were talking about him and I swear I believe that he understood every word. He spent the last 2 years of his life with his grandma at his home where he spent all of his life. They had their daily routine and though it was slowed down we would always go for drives eat ice cream and run errands. There were times I looked at peso and I believed he was going to live forever or at least till he was 20.
He was so stoic and strong and he would never bother you with something that was bothering him.
He was kissed everyday given full body massages many times a day, he was carried when needed, he was given Epsom salt baths which he tolerated just for me. He was always a part of craft making whether it was making jewelry with his hair, canvas footprints and he was always the star in my videos and I was constantly taking pictures of him. Santa pictures every year ,Halloween and 15 wonderful birthday celebrations.
He went into kidney failure and without knowing very much detail I sprung into action Gathering everything I needed electric razor teddy bear flowers a dress that I had my smell. I brought air-dry clay battery operated candles and pictures. I walked into the room and he did not look like peso and I knew in my heart I had to fulfill my promise I made 15 years ago.
I was always singing to him always giving him smooches and singing he had a space in my arms where he would put his two paws and always rest his head against my heart.
You left this world on August 19th 2024. You were my reason to live my reason to survive my reason to get up in the morning. Just the thought to see your smile just knowing that you were cozy under a blanket on your favorite sofa gi
gave me so much comfort and safety. Since You’ve Been Gone my heart and soul has left my body and I’m walking around an empty vessel.
I can’t breathe and I don’t want to sometimes.
15 years taking care of you worrying about you and I don’t know what to do with myself and I feel useless.
There’s not a hole in my heart my heart ceases to exist. Everyone that got to meet you was honored and I am the luckiest woman in the world to call you my son. You blessed Grandma and Mommy’s life everyday of yours.
Losing you is like losing a limb but I have to remember all of the memories the laughs and the smiles the joy and the patience that you showed.
Thank you for giving me a reason
My most handsome, sweet baby Nana. I hope you are having fun running in the fields playing with all of your fur brothers and sisters. I hope you are pain-free and I know I will see you again in my arms where you perfectly fit.
Thank you for the love and for never judging me, thank you for knowing I needed you and thank you for being a strong boy. We love you